Advice for Men Coping with Divorce

No one sets out hoping that the things they care about and invest themselves in don’t work out and fail to bear fruit. In the same way, no one ever gets married with the hope or the intention of the marriage failing. Things happen in life, and you can’t always predict where life will take you and what will happen along the way. This is the case with divorce. In this article, we’ll look at some healthy strategies for men coping with divorce.

How divorce affects men mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Divorce is common, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t leave damage in its wake. When divorce is initiated, it can set off a shocking and heartbreaking process, as well as difficult conversations. If you’re the partner who is being caught off guard by the divorce, you may not have the time to process your emotions about what is happening, and the vast majority of divorces are initiated by women.

According to a study published in the Journal of Men’s Health, divorced men have a mortality rate that is nearly two and a half times greater than the rate for married men. Men generally have a less extensive social support than women, and often through the process of divorce they lose some friends, so they do not have the same level of emotional support they had before the divorce.

This increases their risk for adverse health effects, resulting in divorced men suffering more heart attacks and strokes than other men.

Some of the common emotional and psychological effects seen in men after a divorce include anxiety, stress, guilt, insomnia, depression, a crisis of identity, feeling lost and abandoned, and turning to substance abuse to deal with it all.

Not every man experiences these, and for some, they may only be experienced temporarily. One of the main challenges of divorce for men is that they struggle more with handling the emotional aspects of divorce as they are less likely to seek and rely on social support from friends or family than women.

Additionally, the financial implications of divorce may result in the need to lower one’s standard of living, and this can result in elevated levels of stress. It can also be complicated trying to figure out a new work-life balance to accommodate your new life circumstances, along with figuring out what co-parenting looks like as well as dealing with any conflicts that may arise with your ex or other family members.

Healthy strategies for coping with divorce.

It’s important for a person who has undergone divorce to understand how getting divorced has affected them and to put the experience into perspective. Unpacking what happened in the marriage and why it ended in divorce is vital as it helps one learn from it and avoid making the same mistakes again. Your self-identity is affected by the events that happen in your life, and getting divorced is no exception.

Some of the strategies for coping with divorce include:

Understanding how getting divorced affects you.

It may be tempting to move on from your divorce and not dwell on it, but you need to squarely face the onslaught of emotions and thoughts that divorce brings.

When you know what you’re facing, you can dedicate appropriate time and attention to dealing with life as it is now. Allow yourself room and time to grieve, and don’t skip that part. Manning up means facing your grief squarely and taking the time you need to heal.

Building or rebuilding your support network.

You may have lost friends through the divorce, but you need people around you now more than ever. Lean on those who are around you, and start to rebuild your networks so that you have meaningful relationships to invest in.

Reclaiming hobbies and interests.

This is a way to develop your sense of self. Whether you revisit old interests or develop new ones, find new friends, complete your education, or start a new career, this can counteract the negative effects of getting divorced.

Prioritizing self-care.

Take care of yourself by prioritizing your rest, eating a healthy and balanced diet, and getting regular exercise. Don’t bury yourself in work or turn to alcohol or recreational drugs and risky behaviors to deal with stress. These can relieve stress in the short term, but they cause many other problems in the process.

Be a good co-parent.

If you have children, it’s important to know that they are affected by the divorce. You can be present for them and make the transition easier by having fewer conflicts with your ex and cultivating consistency in your parenting. This will make for a less stressful environment for everyone concerned.

Seek help.

Talking with someone like a Christian counselor can be a good way to come to terms with your divorce and new situation. Your counselor can help you deal effectively with stress, depression, or anxiety, and they can help you better understand what happened in your marriage and how to move toward healing and growth.

Reach out and connect with a Christian counselor for additional support coping with divorce and entering into the next season of life.